Things to work out

April 28
Monday

Today Bunchhean didn’t come to school. I’m really worried he stopped study. This goes through my mind every time one of my kids is not at school. Sokhavath and David have already done this to me. If I would have known it was there last day I would have given them something to remember me by. By the end of the year I want to have one picture with each kid to give them. When get home I’m going to make a huge collage of this year and frame it. I’m also planning on get a picture drawn of my kids and I together. I want Pros to draw it, if he can. I already talked to him about it and he said, it would take him time, but he would try and do it. If that fails I will try and convince one of my really good friends Klaralyn to do it for me. It would mean so much to me. I really love all of my kids. When they know I’m having a hard day they always come and tickle my back. That is the key to my heart; man! I love it! All my friends know that I’m always trying to get them to either tickle my back or arm. I calms me down because when I was younger my Dad (Beaver) would tickle my back while I was about to fall asleep. Nonetheless my kids know this will put me at ease. I love them all! I hope that Bunchhean didn’t stop study because he was the better ones in my class.

I’m so proud of my kids. They are starting to read! Its really exciting to know that you taught them how! Every week we go over new spelling/reading words and almost the whole class could sound out the words. Obviously the ones that don’t pay attention in class don’t understand, but I can’t make them listen. Anyway, more than half of my class can sound out words. I’m so excited! This feeling only makes me want to become a teacher even more.

A little update on things with Katrina and I. We have been having some problems with a lot of things. I have done some things to her that I wish I hadn’t, but I can’t change the past. I can only hope and pray that she forgives me. I don’t blame her for her decision to move out, but I only wish she hadn’t because I now know that we won’t ever be friends again. I sometimes wonder why I was brought up here. What does God want to show me? Well, I think I figured only a little part of it out already. I feel he wanted to show me my weaknesses.

I have a problem with holding grudges, pride, self-centerness, and not being aware of other people feeling. I knew I had these problems before, but I guess I didn’t ever realize how much it effected others. I never wanted to be the person you had to walk on egg shells with. I wanted to be the person you can tell anything to because you could trust me. I was talking to my Dad (Jerry) and he said that maybe with all the stress of everything it can bring out the worst in all of us. He does have a point, but really I should have been more aware of her feeling. I am so disappointed in myself for what I have done to her and I just pray to God that she will forgive me. I am trying to change but it won’t happen in one day. These things take time; God needs to work on my heart. I still want to be her friend, but I fear she has washed her hands of me. Pray.

Here in about two weeks or so we have another break (10 days). I wanted to go to Vietnam, but I don’t think I’m going to go because I want to save money to go to Lao at the end of the year. It will be my last trip and last time to spend with the Lao students. I am planning on traveling with them by bus for two days. While I’m there I’m planning on seeing their families and homes. I have not talked to all of them about it, but the ones that I have talked to are really excited that I’m going. They really want to show me their country. I am really excited to go! I am planning on going to Sengphor’s house in the north with SingKham. Sengphor said it takes a couple of hours to get to his home town, but he said that when I get there we will go hiking around to see the countryside. I’m really happy that they want to show me their country. I will be by myself, but I know the Lao students will take care of me’ hopefully. I’m planning on staying there for about two weeks. I will be coming home (America) in the second or third week of July. I will be back before the 22^nd because I promised my brother that I would be there for his birthday. So this is my really really rough sketch of my plans for the rest of the year. I pray that it all works out.