David's house

May 14 (April 16^th or 17^th)
Wednesday

I have been intending to write about my visit to David’s house for a long time, but just never go around to it. During my last break (Khmer New Year) all the Lao students, Ben, Kim and I all went to David’s house. David is a tenth grader at the school and his sister Pon-luor (no idea how to spell) is in twelfth grade. Their father (Tendou) is the pastor in the Kal Dal province. It took us about 30-40mins to get there. David rides his bike to school everyday! The whole family is really good in English. This is the kind of family where the parents study with the kids. Tendou knows not only Khmer and English, but also Thia and Lao. Ben asked him how he learned so many different languages, he responded, “Learn little by little from people and put it into practice.”

We made lunch and ate together. I was most excited about the food because it was really different. Ok, just have to say when they eat fish they don’t cut the scales off or head. All they do is gut it and then stick the whole thing in to a pan, plop it on a plate and eat. I was first introduced to this when the Lao boys made me dinner way at the beginning of the year. I didn’t know how to eat it, but Katrina showed me how; thankfully. I’m not a fish fan to begin with, but its starting to grow on me. Anyway we had chicken, fish, vegetables, rice (given), and mango. It was delicious!

After lunch we went outside in front of the house where they garden (sell) mango trees. We laid down bamboo mates and all chilled out for the afternoon. I was so stuffed from lunch I fell asleep while everyone else played games. Once I woke up I felt like I had a rock in my stomach so I decided to go for a walk around the village with Mia (Lao girl). We walked for about an hour around the whole village. We crossed a really sketchy bridge, but I figured if moto’s can drove on it then why can’t we.

Tendou invited us to stay for dinner, but I was still stuffed from lunch and I don’t eat dinner so I was not up for the idea, but I kept my mouth shut. Ben talked to the Lao students and they all wanted to get home for the night. The day at David’s was relaxing. It was nice to get out of the house and the city for the afternoon. I can’t wait till I get home and look out my window to see mountains!

Food and Fun Fair

May 4
Sunday

I have not been keeping up on my blogspot as much as I should. I will try and be better about it, but the end of the year is rolling around and I have lots to figure out before I leave in 2 months. So…what has happened in the last two weeks? Our school had a Food and Fun Fair to raise money for the school. We did this on May 4, which replaced another day. This particular day fell right after the King’s birthday; three days off (Tues-Thurs). So, all this week we don’t have school except for today. The Sunday (Food and Fun Fair (FAFF)) we had to come to school replaced Friday of this week. I was really excited to have this week off because I’m feeling paper thin. Also we have to get ready for the final testing. Even though I get four days off work this week I’m going to be working at home because I have to get all my tests done.

Ok, enough about what I have to do. I will elaborate on the Food and Fun Fair day. If I’m not mistaken I don’t think our school has done anything like this before (fundraising). So, it was a new experience for all the Khmer teachers. Even though I have been involved with a FAFF before I still didn’t know what to expect. I decided to do a Cake Walk for the littler kids. I was a little worried about how I was going to pay for all the food, but then Fay suggested that I ask my students to bring something. I did and it all worked out. I made cookies, Fay made brownies, Sharon made cup cakes, and Chanroth (my assistant) brought mango’s from here tree’s and cookies. My kids brought anything from hard candy to cakes. I was really excited to see them get into the game. They didn’t understand when I was trying to explain it, so I just showed them how to play a game. Once they caught on it was a really fun day. Not only did I get little kids, but I got older ones as well. Nova came and played the game I think two or three times and Boemey played too. I was a good day. Kim sold ice cream and coconut. Ben, well Ben couldn’t just sell one thing. He went all for it. Not only did he sell papaya salad, he had a raffle ticket lottery, but also rings to throw on pop cans. He really got into it. We had music playing during the event and he (Ben) and Rit were the DJ’s. I liked watching all the kids come to school with their parents to see what kind of school we are running. If I’m not mistaken government school don’t do things like this. So, when we asked (told) the kids they had to come to school on Sunday the parents didn’t quite understand, but I’m sure once they arrived they had a better understanding.

After the FAFF Boramey, Ung, Heap, Ne-lee, Ra-tan-ak, and I all went to the riverside. The night before Boramey and I were just coming back from something and we ran into Ung and Ne-lee so we decided to go get sugar cane juice and go out after the FAFF the next night. It was nice to get out of the house and do absolutely nothing. We literally just rode around on moto’s for at least a couple of hours. It was nice though. They did however show me the night market; it was nothing to brag about, same old things just in a different arrangement. I love the fact that I have made friends that are willing to show me things around town. Boramey had her camera that night and I will try and get those pictures from her so that you can see us out on the town.

Things to work out

April 28
Monday

Today Bunchhean didn’t come to school. I’m really worried he stopped study. This goes through my mind every time one of my kids is not at school. Sokhavath and David have already done this to me. If I would have known it was there last day I would have given them something to remember me by. By the end of the year I want to have one picture with each kid to give them. When get home I’m going to make a huge collage of this year and frame it. I’m also planning on get a picture drawn of my kids and I together. I want Pros to draw it, if he can. I already talked to him about it and he said, it would take him time, but he would try and do it. If that fails I will try and convince one of my really good friends Klaralyn to do it for me. It would mean so much to me. I really love all of my kids. When they know I’m having a hard day they always come and tickle my back. That is the key to my heart; man! I love it! All my friends know that I’m always trying to get them to either tickle my back or arm. I calms me down because when I was younger my Dad (Beaver) would tickle my back while I was about to fall asleep. Nonetheless my kids know this will put me at ease. I love them all! I hope that Bunchhean didn’t stop study because he was the better ones in my class.

I’m so proud of my kids. They are starting to read! Its really exciting to know that you taught them how! Every week we go over new spelling/reading words and almost the whole class could sound out the words. Obviously the ones that don’t pay attention in class don’t understand, but I can’t make them listen. Anyway, more than half of my class can sound out words. I’m so excited! This feeling only makes me want to become a teacher even more.

A little update on things with Katrina and I. We have been having some problems with a lot of things. I have done some things to her that I wish I hadn’t, but I can’t change the past. I can only hope and pray that she forgives me. I don’t blame her for her decision to move out, but I only wish she hadn’t because I now know that we won’t ever be friends again. I sometimes wonder why I was brought up here. What does God want to show me? Well, I think I figured only a little part of it out already. I feel he wanted to show me my weaknesses.

I have a problem with holding grudges, pride, self-centerness, and not being aware of other people feeling. I knew I had these problems before, but I guess I didn’t ever realize how much it effected others. I never wanted to be the person you had to walk on egg shells with. I wanted to be the person you can tell anything to because you could trust me. I was talking to my Dad (Jerry) and he said that maybe with all the stress of everything it can bring out the worst in all of us. He does have a point, but really I should have been more aware of her feeling. I am so disappointed in myself for what I have done to her and I just pray to God that she will forgive me. I am trying to change but it won’t happen in one day. These things take time; God needs to work on my heart. I still want to be her friend, but I fear she has washed her hands of me. Pray.

Here in about two weeks or so we have another break (10 days). I wanted to go to Vietnam, but I don’t think I’m going to go because I want to save money to go to Lao at the end of the year. It will be my last trip and last time to spend with the Lao students. I am planning on traveling with them by bus for two days. While I’m there I’m planning on seeing their families and homes. I have not talked to all of them about it, but the ones that I have talked to are really excited that I’m going. They really want to show me their country. I am really excited to go! I am planning on going to Sengphor’s house in the north with SingKham. Sengphor said it takes a couple of hours to get to his home town, but he said that when I get there we will go hiking around to see the countryside. I’m really happy that they want to show me their country. I will be by myself, but I know the Lao students will take care of me’ hopefully. I’m planning on staying there for about two weeks. I will be coming home (America) in the second or third week of July. I will be back before the 22^nd because I promised my brother that I would be there for his birthday. So this is my really really rough sketch of my plans for the rest of the year. I pray that it all works out.

Refiners Fire

April 26
Saturday

Today I started reading a new book entitled The Refiners Fire written by Gavin Anthony. Gavin is the son of Garth and Silvia her on the compound. Speaking of them, this will be their last Sabbath here. Garth has been having health problems from the heat and needed to retire early. Its going to be different without them here even though I didn’t get to know them that well the little I did talk to Silvia it was enjoyable. I still can remember her inviting Katrina, Ben, Kim and I over for tea. Which meant dinner and worship. It was pleasant.

Anyway, the book is about life’s suffering and how it all works out for the glory of God. For the past month or so I have been having a hard time here. It was only recently that it all started looking on the up side, but still with unpleasant moments. I realized that God was shaping me. He was bringing out the worst in me so that I can see my weaknesses. He was not doing this to punish me, but rather for me to fix them before they cause me to fall completely from him. I’m not going to lie. I have fallen from God. All the problems started the moment I put certain things before him. I have been so focused on them that I lost sight of what is really important. Reading the first chapter (Refiners Fire) this morning I realized God allowed problems to come my way so that I can realize my weaknesses and know that he is going to be there in hard times. We are all promised we are never alone in the dark. He is always the light.

I have been trying so hard to stay within a SDA community to help me not fall from Him. But you can’t let others do your work for yourself. Ben said something the other night during worship that really opened my eyes. He said, “If you don’t take time to truly know your God then how do you expect to be saved. When judgment day comes God is going to deny you because you don’t know him. You don’t have a personal relationship with him.” That pretty much made me apprehend the idea that just because I’m in a SDA community doesn’t mean I’m going to heaven because quite frankly I don’t have a very strong stance with God. Yes, I know of him, but I don’t truly know him. I don’t have a relationship with him. I have been counting on others to do my work for me. I have been relying on others to tell me about the Bible.

My God does love me and I know that, but do I love my God? Or do I love the idea of him? I still can remember the day I got baptized. I was crying my eyes out because I could feel the presence of the LORD their and I was truly sorry for all my sins. I was so happy because I was giving my life over a God who truly loves me even though I’m covered in sin.

I feel that God is communicating with me through other people and their words. He is trying to tell me to come back and cast all my burdens upon him. Why is it so hard for us to cast our troubles onto someone else? Really we should be rejoicing because we don’t have to worry about it anymore, but why is it that we have to fix everything ourselves? Well, maybe I shouldn’t speak on behalf of others, but for me I have such a hard time doing this. I am so stubborn. I want to fix everything myself, but in the end everything turns out worst.

Please pray that I finish out the rest of the year strong and grow closer to God. I need his help and need just to surrender ALL to him.

Crazy MONKEY

April 20
Sunday

Today was really fun. I would say it was the most fun I had in sometime. I hung out with Boamey. We first off went to eat at morning café, and then drove around town on a quest to find something to burn time. Even though I didn’t have much money, which resulted in no shopping we still found away to occupy our time. After eating we drove down to the river. I saw this kind of food that I have wanted to try for sometime, so today I tried it and it’s nothing to boast about. I should have taken a picture of it to show you. I tried to explain it to Brenda, but she didn’t understand. None the less I will try and describe it; imagine a softball cut in half. The color is green with a stem (about half an inch thick) on the bottom half (rounded part). The flat part is bumpy; the bumpiness is from the seed. The seed is what you eat, you retrieve the seed by ripping the outer layer off, and then you have to rip off the layer on the seed. It takes a lot of effort to eat and not very rewarding. So, needless to say I didn’t like the food, but it was ok. I won’t want another. The bad part about this food is it’s sold in quantities of four. Boamey and I couldn’t even finish one. It was then that we decided to go to Wat Phom to feed the monkeys.

This idea seem fun and exciting from the start, but once the crazy monkeys saw that I had food they kind of attacked me. Here is the story. Boamey was finishing the first one we had when one monkey approached her. She freaked out and grabbed me by the arm, which caused the bag, containing the other three, to show its continence. The crazy monkey’s pretty much attacked me. They came in from all directions, grabbing at me and the bag. Boamey was saying, “Liz give them the food!” I was really trying to but the stupid fruit was hard to break off from the stem. I was almost on the verge of throwing the whole thing, but decided at the last minute to try one more time to rip it from the stem. Thankfully I succeed and the monkeys didn’t bite me. With all the excitement people were looking at Boemey and me and just laughing. I couldn’t help it either so we just laughed at walked away real show from the monkey’s because they ended up fighting.

Also at Wat Phom we saw a elephant. I wanted to know how much it would cost to ride. Boemey asked and its $15 for foreigners and $10 for natives. I really want to ride an elephant so next weekend Boemey and I are going to ride the elephant. I’m pretty excited! We are also going to feed the monkeys again. This time I will not have that stupid fruit that doesn’t rid easily. Instead we are going to have fruit from Boemey’s trees, which consist of bananas and mangos. I will have to let you know how this goes.

After Wat Phom we drove to the Paragon Mall to take pictures. I was thinking of those little picture booths we have in the states, but it turns out not to be that at all. You get to choose your back grounds (12) and stand in a little booth. The pictures turned out really well. It was a lot of fun. If I can I will scan them in to my computer and post them.

I don’t think I told you who Boemey is, have I? Whatever, she is a senior at CAS we met during senior outing and I really enjoy her company. She will give me rides home from school sometimes and we will get sugarcane juice if either of us had a bad day. We hang out during the weekend from time to time and will get lunch together on Friday’s after school/work. Last Friday she took me to this restaurant on the riverside. It was call the Boat house noodles. Its a really cool atmosphere. The tables are propped up with pillows to kneel or sit on. The food is really good too. You can order Khmer, American, Thia, and I think Korean. I just got fried rice with chicken and Som Tom (papaya salad). Papaya salad is my new favorite food. It consists of papaya (obviously), nuts, tomatoes, diced chilies (hot!), crab, and little shrimp (I don’t get these last too, don’t like the taste). Why I love it? Hot, and sour at the same time, to good to pass up.

My last day of vacation was really enjoyable because of Boemey. I’m really going to miss her when I leave. I will have to keep in touch with her. She is a really good person to be with.

Friendship

April 18
Friday

For the past week we had a holiday, Khmer New Year. I was talking to my dad the other day and he asked me a question that I didn’t thing about. Is it 2008 or 2009 here? I still think that its 2008. They don’t celebrate our New Years time, but change the year when we do. I don’t understand, but whatever; HAPPY KHMER NEW YEAR! To celebrate this holiday they throw water or power on you. It doesn’t matter if they know you or not you’re going to be a walking target. I got drenched by the Lao boys one morning. They tricked me into thinking that Brennda was calling me outside. For those of you who don’t know Brennda she’s the one that is getting “married”. She is from California and has two kids. One of which she had here and the other is at home with the boyfriend. She is so much fun and I’m going to miss her when she leaves at the end of the month. She has made my time here fly by. I kind of hope that the babies passport doesn’t go through for a little while longer so that she doesn’t have to leave. I really will miss her.
Anyway, all I have been doing this holiday is hanging out with the Lao boys and Ben and Kim. It has been a really relaxing week. I’m really glad I didn’t go anywhere because quite frankly I’m tired of traveling. I just want to take a break and rest. Sorry, have to say that there is this older man who will not stop staring at me. Every time I look at him he just smiles; creepy. Whatever.
I got to see Yeema (old assistant) this week. She came by yesterday and we went to the Russian market then to Soya. However, I got separated from here at Soya and I just ended up going home from there alone. I’m going to call her today and say goodbye. This was the last time we were going to see each other too. I really love Yeema. She is a good friend.
Earlier this week I took all the Lao boys to the pool. It was really fun. Prom and me raced and man can he hold his breath. By the way Prom is starting to talk to me more now. I’m happy for that because before I had to almost twist his arm. I’m still the closest to Nova. He is a really good guy and really fun. Now that the whole Liz and Lao boys business has finally been dealt with I can actually hang out with them in peace. Although I’m sure some people are still not happy, but whatever. I can’t make everyone happy and I finally shut them up. I only wish that I did this earlier, how much trouble I would have saved myself and others.
I’m really going to miss them and Ben and Kim. I’m planning on coming back here to visit Ben and Kim next year. We will see though. If I work really hard this next year and watch my money I’m sure I can do it. I promised Ben and Kim that I would help them out if they needed it when the baby comes. Kim doesn’t want to take my money, but you know what I’m more than happy to help if it for a good cause. I love giving rather than receiving. That goes for all my friends. No matter the time whether I can’t afford it, I will make it happen some how. I’m always there for my friends. And I’m so sorry if I have ever made anymore feel dispensable. That was never my intension. I really value my friends, I’m nothing with out them ALL.
During this time of my time here, I’m really homesick for my friends and family. I have realized that without friends a person is nothing. Being lonely is not worth it. I have found that holding grudges is not worth it. Holding grudges is a horrible thing. Don’t do it. It only destroys friendships. Ben said that as you get older you realize how important friendship is and holding a grudge is not worth it. I’m going to try my hardest to stop doing this. This is one of my weaknesses. I have always done this. What I mean is that I don’t hold a grudge forever, but I will hold one until the person(s) and I talk it out. I have a hard time forgiving someone for something they did to me. But the Bible says that if you don’t forgive though who persecute you, you will not be forgiven. Pray that I can get better at not holding grudges.

ADRA

April 14
Monday

For the first time being here I felt like I was doing something for the good. Volunteering in Cambodia is pleasant, but I feel like I’m not doing anything. On all the mission trips I have been on I felt like I was doing something for the good. Why, am I here? What did God bring me here for? Was it to strength my relationship with him? Was it to be comfortable with myself and know that I can be on my own? Was it to bring out the faults in myself to realize and fix them? WHY!?
Just last week seven hundred houses or so burnt down. It was really sad to see all the families live on the streets. Cambodia doesn’t need that! I was discussing the topic with Silvia on Sabbath and I asked if they figured out how it started. She said that people suspect the government. I looked at here perplexed and she explained to me that the government will do what it wants to do at any costs. Because money controls everything here! Its sad and sickening to think that your own government will burn down your house just to build fancier houses or an organization that will bring in more money for the rich to get richer and the poor to get poorer! I was really disturbed by the fact of this and decided that I wanted to help out the people whom lost everything they had.
ADRA is an organization here in Cambodia that helps the people live healthier lives and answers to major disaster calls; seven hundred houses burning down falls under the category of major disaster. So, on Saturday afternoon instead of sleeping I decided to work with ADRA to package the food to give out the next day. The bags consisted on 5 kilo’s of rice, noodles, soy sauce, cooking oil, and some kind seasoning. My job was to scoop the rice out of the bags into littler ones for the people. By the end of the day my hand was so sore, but I still helped out. Around 5ish Porm and Dream came to help out, Prom put the noodles and other stuff into the bags while Dream helped me. It was nice to see them help out.
On Sunday morning I woke up at 5:30 to go to Anna’s house (meeting area) to leave. We had three little trucks filled with the bags and one big hull truck; all of which were filled to the max. Arriving there was pretty over whelming, lots of people going every which way to set up the area. The government decided to just make rows to put the food. ADRA was not the only organization that helped out; Red Cross and Zaman International School. Red Cross provided mats, eating utensils and bowls, tarp, and sarongs. Zaman provided two 50 kilo bags. It was nice to help out. God really had mercy on all of us because just that morning around 4 it rained, which resulted in a cloudy and windy morning; I was thanking God. I would have died if I had to work in the sun. But because of the rain it was really muddy, so one of our trucks got stuck in the mud. Kham Phia, Nova and I tried our hardest to get it out of the mud. LOL!
Also I got to go into a temple. It was kind of cool. There were painting on the walls that told a story. I didn’t understand, but it was nice to see. The monks there were trying to get me to take lots of pictures of them. I was getting annoyed and just pretended to take pictures of them towards the end because I didn’t want to waste my battery.
We unloaded all the trucks by making a line to pass the bags. Towards the end my arms started feeling like jello. I almost fell over on top of Sharon. In the end it felt good to help others. This is what I miss feeling when I help. Maybe because my work is not finished I don’t have that satisfactory feeling. I will just have to wait for it.